An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

I love this book. It was really helpful for me to read and put so many of my thoughts and feelings over the past year into words. Especially this week, I have appreciated being able to re-read some of my favorite parts.

"Grief lasts longer than sympathy, which is one of the tragedies of the grieving . . . "

"Time heals all wounds. No it doesn't, but eventually you will feel better. You'll be yourself again. Your child will still be dead."

This clearly isn't a typical feel good book. But the honest truth (which isn't always feel good) is what I have needed.

Here is one of my favorite parts:

When I was a teenager in Boston, a man on the subway handed me a card printed with tiny pictures of hands spelling out the alphabet in sign language. I AM DEAF, said the card. You were supposed to give the man some money in exchange.

I have thought of that card ever since, during difficult times, mine or someone else's: surely when tragedy has struck you dumb, you should be given a stack of cards that explain it for you. My first child was stillborn, it would say on the front. . . I want people to know but I don't want to say it aloud. People don't like to hear it but I think they might not mind reading it on a card.

I could have taken my cards, translated into French, to the stores of Duras, where the baker, the butcher, the dry cleaner, the grocery store ladies, had seen me growing bigger and bigger over the months: I couldn't bear the idea of them seeing me deflated and asking after the baby. "Voila", I'd say, and hand over a card . . . To every single person who noticed I was pregnant the second time and said, "Congratulations! Is this your first!"

Every day of my life, I think, I'll meet someone and be struck dumb, and all I'll have to do is reach in my pocket."

(An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination By, Elizabeth McCracken)